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Team Apocalypse - Get Ready To Horde!

First, a shoutout to Team Apocalypse. If you’re not on our Facebook Group - GET ON OUR FACEBOOK GROUP!!!


So I’ve spoken before about the most important thing in the world you could possibly horde during a SHTF (Sh** Hits The Fan) situation.


It’s not guns, not ammo, not food, not water and DEFINTIELY not toilet paper.


On a side note, although the Chinese wiped their bums with toilet paper from around the 14th century AD, toilet paper didn’t reach America til 1857.


Before that time, people used moss, leaves, sponges, spatula devices, seashells, and other means to clean their behinds. I'll leave it up to your imagine as to what “other means” may refer to. And just think, if you invented the Ass-Spatula (Ass-ula?), and got everyone to use it, you could save millions of trees every year!

But back to my original thought. The most important thing to horde during a SHTF scenario isn’t even a debate. There’s not even a close second (OK, maybe shelter and water), but the correct answer for long term survival is, you need to horde PEOPLE.


Let’s go over some emergency scenarios for all you Lone Ranger Preppers out there…


  • How are you gonna transport all those gold coins you’ve stowed in your basement in a safe manner when it comes time to barter with them?

  • How are you going to protect your home against 24/7 attacks from thieves, gangs, and the masses of hungry people wanting your food? You gotta sleep sometime.

  • If your car breaks down, and there are no garages available, are you able to fix it? Where are you going to find the right parts if everything is shut down?

  • What if you want milk, eggs, or meat and you don’t have any farm animals, or room for farm animals, or a desire to raise farm animals?

  • What do you know about medicine? Do you have antibiotics available? What if you get a severe injury, an infection that won’t go away, or you need meds to deal with an ongoing condition?


Having the right PEOPLE around, and the contacts they possess solves ALL these problems and so many more.


And THAT’S what we’re doing at TEAM APOCALYPSE.


So, what should you be doing right away in order to prepare for a massive negative event? I thought you’d never ask!


  1. Prepare Yourself - Do you have a “bug-out” bag in case you need to flee a bad scene immediately? What exactly should be in a “bug-out” bag? We’ll talk about that in another article, or you can GOOGLE. More importantly, do you carry water in your vehicle in case you get caught out on the road? Things to think about. Do you have at least 10 days worth of food stocked away in your home somewhere? I’d say 3 months’ worth for everyone in your household is your goal, but you gotta start somewhere. Remember, water is ALWAYS the most essential item. 3 days without… you’re deceased. Most importantly, your mindset is THE most key element in preparing yourself. Go over negative scenarios in your mind and meditate on what you’d do IF… Then relax and enjoy your day. If a negative event happens, you’re going to do whatever you planned. If it works, great! If it doesn’t work, relax. You had a good run. Do what you do until you can’t do it no mo’. That’s all anyone can ask of themselves. Don’t panic. Don’t live in fear. I repeat, Do what you do till you can’t do it no mo’. The rest is up to Fate/God/The Universe.

  2. Encouraging your immediate family to prepare for the unexpected. Where will you meet in an emergency? Who will be responsible for what items? Is there one person who lives far away that you can all call and check-in with in case local lines are flooded with emergency calls? Should each member of your household be responsible for a different area of preparation? Do you have guns? Do all of you know how to use them? If you don’t have guns, what’s your plan for survival? Let me tell you this, mercy is going to be in short supply when people are hungry. But also… are you ready to shoot your neighbors if they want your food? Best to team up with them rather than shoot at them!

  3. Which brings me to… your immediate neighborhood/area. Do you know your neighbors? You should get to know them right away. Say someone steals your bicycle off your deck and rather than chasing after them, you dial your neighbors. It’s hard to outrun a cellphone! You pick up your phone, dial Bill, the ex-marine who lives 5 houses down, and ask him to stand out on the road and kindly retrieve your stolen property that’s pedaling his way. This is how neighborhoods used to work. Now they don’t work at all. If you’re an introvert and hate the idea of meeting your neighbors, I’m gonna help you with that. We’re gonna have “Meet Your Neighbor Nights” wherein, I’m gonna give you the tools to do just that. That’s coming up soon. So, the short of it, don’t shoot your neighbors, please. Add them to Team Apocalypse instead. Life’s looking better already, isn’t it?

  4. Invite people to check out our TEAM APOCALYPSE Group Site and this website! This is the best tool I can think of to bring communities together in these strange times. Ask your partner, your co-workers, your family, your neighbors to tune into the livestreams and just check out your team. Yes, YOUR team. This is about US, not me.

  5. Learn, learn, learn. YouTube is FILLED with episodes on gardening, raising chickens, rabbits, livestock, turning your windowsill into a growbox, self-defense, food storage, what to do in every negative scenario imaginable. Prepping should be an enjoyable learning experience in the art of self-development, not a paranoid slog into the soon-coming, hopeless abyss.


These are just some simple and basic things to get you going until I can get more information your way. I don’t want to inundate you with a tidal wave of content.


All I’ll say for now is, let's begin hoarding people ASAP. You’ll feel better, they’ll feel better, and we’ll all be better for it. Let’s do this thang!


Doc Dan



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